Weight Does Not Equal Worth

"Mommy, do you exercise so you don't get fat?"

Words spoken so innocently by my four year old daughter as she watched me stretch after my twenty minutes of Zumba this morning.

I was quick to explain to her that no, I exercise so I don't get sick and so I am less tired. Also, I genuinely enjoy it. Not just the exercise itself, but the feeling of my muscles all day long after I've exercised them.

I have never expressed a need to lose weight to my children. I have two daughters, and I desperately want them to somehow manage to go through life without worrying about their weight. I would, secretly, like to lose weight. I am eighty pounds heavier than I was before I had my three children, and I don't particularly like my body right now. I did just have my last baby less than three months ago, so some body discomfort is to be expected. And I am very careful to not mention my displeasure about my weight to my girls. Honestly, I don't mention it much at all because it bothers me to be bothered by my weight. I know that my worth is in no way connected to the numbers on the scale or the size of clothes I wear. So I find it beyond frustrating that I do get into moods of feeling fat, and therefore unattractive.

But it bothers me so much more that my four year old has somehow picked up the idea that people exercise so they don't get fat. I talk to them about how exercise is good for you, and how we need to eat healthy food so we feel good. Children, especially, get cranky when they've only had sugary snacks and I hope my girls understand that connection. Eating healthy food puts you in a good mood. Exercising is fun and makes you healthier. Those are the connections I want my children to have. Not that exercising helps you not get fat.

It is stressful being the mother to daughters. (I'll have to wait and see how stressful it is to be a mother to a son. Right now he's two months old and pretty relaxed.) Our society impresses these ridiculous ideals about thinness and places so much importance on appearance. It is such an unhealthy outlook, and I cringe at the thought of my girls worrying about their weight when they're older. Children can get eating disorders at the age of seven or eight. About 37% of children in elementary school have already tried dieting, and that's so ridiculous.

Children should be worrying about how much playing they can fit into recess and whether or not they can save up enough allowance to buy a new toy they have their eye on. They should not be worrying about if they have a chubby tummy or not.

I hate that our society pushes these idea on everyone and that children so young pick up on it.

As a mother I need to help my children see all the wonderful things their bodies can do for them. They can let them run really fast, experience amazing things, and allow them to go on a million adventures. How much they weigh is an unbelievably foolish way of judging a body's worth. I hope I can help my children see that.

As a writer, I hope that my stories never help perpetuate the myth of weight equaling worth. I hope the little bit of our society who read my books, even if that little bit is just friends and family, can see the power of a person emanates from who they are, not what they weigh.